Our society expects women to marry in their twenties and latest, by their early thirties; anything beyond that leaves family, friends and even strangers mystified. A single matured woman in her mid-thirties to early-forties, becomes a recipient of all sorts of advice, prophesies, concoctions and varying degrees of pitying looks. In her mid to late forties, the pressure starts to ease up probably because people now see her as being left on the shelf, no more hope for marriage. I should know; been there, still there.
December 2011, a relation told me that she’d spoken to my dad about my still-single status and an agreement was reached to encourage me to obey God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28). I was reminded that my biological clock was winding down and thus, given permission to date and get pregnant for a married man; however, I was to ensure that I never become a threat to his marriage or ever let his wife know about the affair. I smiled as I thanked her for their advice and went home; I wasn’t angry because I knew that was just their attempt at showing they cared for me.
The difference between a Single Matured Christian Woman (SMCW) and a Single Matured Woman (SMW) is the “C”; it stands for Christian and is the reason why some options that seem available to SMW are taboo for us.
When I got home, I replayed the entire incident to God (in case He had somehow missed any part of the conversation, LOL) and then I called two ladies whom I knew would talk some Christian sense into me and pray for me.
A few days later while thinking about the incident again, God said to me, “Bolaji, they have put a full stop where I have put a comma”. That word encouraged and still encourages me today.
I heard the statement above in church and I know it’s true.
If you have been trusting God for a spouse, children, financial breakthrough, or healing for some years, you will meet your own version of “Job’s three friends” or people who will encourage you to disobey God and repent later.
This is my advice to you: Stop running from pillar to post for answers to “your problem” and simply ask God to give you Your word for Your waiting period.
I have found that it takes a Word from God to make waiting for a vision that “tarries” possible. A prolonged waiting season is rarely enjoyable but God gives each person, the needed strength, encouragement and peace to bear the wait in a graceful manner.
I do not deny or belittle the fact that you will sometimes feel lonely, depressed or even get tempted to seek the “comfort” of a man’s arms (I’m being real here); these are to be expected because we have God-given emotions and hormones but I know that those feelings won’t last for long and in spite of how intense they may be, Your word from God will help you stand.
Some years ago, I was at a point where I had gotten tired of praying for a husband and also tired of everyone assuming that the only need I had was marriage so I began calling God my husband and this probably would have continued but for one fateful morning. I wanted to read my Bible but I didn’t really have a specific chapter to open to so I decided to just flip through and stop anywhere that catches my fancy [yeah, I do that sometimes 🙂 ]. Somehow, I just “happened” to turn to Isaiah 54 and began reading from verse 1; when I got to verse 5, the following conversation, took place:
God: Bolaji, did you notice verses 4-5
Me: (after quickly re-reading the verses) Yes, Lord
God: Are you a widow?
God: Then stop calling me your husband
Me: (too shocked to say anything)
God: I am the husband to widows; I will give you your own husband.
Whenever I recall this conversation, I smile because it’s so funny that God was so dramatic in correcting me but I have since held unto to His word that He would give me my ‘own husband’. This is one of His words for My waiting period.
Have you talked to God about the unmet desires of your heart?
What has He said to You (not your pastor/prophet) concerning Your situation?
Hold on that Word.