Mind your apostrophe

Our society expects women to marry in their twenties and latest, by their early thirties; anything beyond that leaves family, friends and even strangers mystified. A single matured woman in her mid-thirties to early-forties, becomes a recipient of all sorts of advice, prophesies, concoctions and varying degrees of pitying looks. In her mid to late forties, the pressure starts to ease up probably because people now see her as being left on the shelf, no more hope for marriage. I should know; been there, still there.

December 2011, a relation told me that she’d spoken to my dad about my still-single status and an agreement was reached to encourage me to obey God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen 1:28). I was reminded that my biological clock was winding down and thus, given permission to date and get pregnant for a married man; however, I was to ensure that I never become a threat to his marriage or ever let his wife know about the affair. I smiled as I thanked her for their advice and went home; I wasn’t angry because I knew that was just their attempt at showing they cared for me.

The difference between a Single Matured Christian Woman (SMCW) and a Single Matured Woman (SMW) is the “C”; it stands for Christian and is the reason why some options that seem available to SMW are taboo for us.

When I got home, I replayed the entire incident to God (in case He had somehow missed any part of the conversation, LOL) and then I called two ladies whom I knew would talk some Christian sense into me and pray for me.

A few days later while thinking about the incident again, God said to me, “Bolaji, they have put a full stop where I have put a comma”. That word encouraged and still encourages me today.


I heard the statement above in church and I know it’s true.

If you have been trusting God for a spouse, children, financial breakthrough, or healing for some years, you will meet your own version of “Job’s three friends” or people who will encourage you to disobey God and repent later.

This is my advice to you: Stop running from pillar to post for answers to “your problem” and simply ask God to give you Your word for Your waiting period.

I have found that it takes a Word from God to make waiting for a vision that “tarries” possible. A prolonged waiting season is rarely enjoyable but God gives each person, the needed strength, encouragement and peace to bear the wait in a graceful manner.

I do not deny or belittle the fact that you will sometimes feel lonely, depressed or even get tempted to seek the “comfort” of a man’s arms (I’m being real here); these are to be expected because we have God-given emotions and hormones but I know that those feelings won’t last for long and in spite of how intense they may be, Your word from God will help you stand.

Some years ago, I was at a point where I had gotten tired of praying for a husband and also tired of everyone assuming that the only need I had was marriage so I began calling God my husband and this probably would have continued but for one fateful morning. I wanted to read my Bible but I didn’t really have a specific chapter to open to so I decided to just flip through and stop anywhere that catches my fancy [yeah, I do that sometimes 🙂 ]. Somehow, I just “happened” to turn to Isaiah 54 and began reading from verse 1; when I got to verse 5, the following conversation, took place:

God: Bolaji, did you notice verses 4-5

Me: (after quickly re-reading the verses) Yes, Lord

God: Are you a widow?

Me: No

God: Then stop calling me your husband

Me: (too shocked to say anything)

God: I am the husband to widows; I will give you your own husband.

Whenever I recall this conversation, I smile because it’s so funny that God was so dramatic in correcting me but I have since held unto to His word that He would give me my ‘own husband’. This is one of His words for My waiting period.

Have you talked to God about the unmet desires of your heart?

What has He said to You (not your pastor/prophet) concerning Your situation?

Hold on that Word.




15 thoughts on “Mind your apostrophe

Add yours

  1. Very encouraging write up. It’s a lot easier to just give up. It takes a lot of strength to keep holding on. Delay is definitely not denial my sis.


  2. Yet another beautiful written piece. I so love how God corrects us (ref: are you a widow? Loooool)
    A big pity society puts a lot of pressure on people – it indeed takes a deep relationship and understanding of God to ‘survive’


  3. Was reading Exodus 32 and reminded me of this post:

    When Moses took too long (ur prayers unanswered for too long) the people asked Aaron to make them a god (people telling you to do ‘certain’ things)

    What shld Aaron have done – as we are the Aarons in this situation. Do what the people ask us to do or stand firm in what we believe. Obviously Aaron must have also had his doubts about Moses (God)- went ahead with the will of the people.

    When asked by Moses he claimed he only told them to bring their gold etc, put it in the fire and d calf appeared lol (like saying got all info abt child out of marriage, read them, thought abt it and suddenly got pregnant😳) Seriously?????
    Note Bible says this ‘happened’ because Aaron did not restrain (prevent/stop/hold back) the people🤔 – The responsibility lies with us to Hear God concerning our situations, Believing what He has said and having the Wisdom to identify Godly counsel.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hey sis!

    I just read your blog and must say was really moved to respond. I was one of those who was ‘late’ in getting married. I mean by the time I clocked 30, my mum was getting worried and visiting all kinds of ‘spiritual’ people and houses. I became the butt of jokes and got loads of pitiful looks whenever I went to gatherings. As I approached my 35th birthday I had resigned myself to a life of singlehood, since everyone said its hard for a woman over 30 to get a husband, shebi?. Even my Pastor said once a lady clocks 30 it gets harder.

    To cut a long story short, God was busy perfecting my husband for me and I have now been married 5 years and with two kids. Everyone had their own idea of what my life should turn out to be, but God Almighty had His own plan. Its never too late to marry, I can testify to that. I am right now the happiest I can ever be and I know God is definitely perfecting all that concerns you. Keep on doing what you are doing, keep looking good and most importantly keep your focus on God and he will surely give you the desires of your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: